Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize