So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
