So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
