Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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