spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
