I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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