His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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