my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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