i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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