Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
