Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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