At least make sure they are 18
Why
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also, beer. Big fan.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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