i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
