my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
