it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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