My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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