Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
