i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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