I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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