Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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