this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Drunk is a universal language darling
false alarm, still single
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
