I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
