apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
