If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Every concussion has its silver lining
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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