I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
