In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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