I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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