I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
