you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
