Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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