I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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