Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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