Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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