She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We're not piercing ourselves today.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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