I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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