I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
