id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
