This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize