saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
