got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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