Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
