My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
