Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
