i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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