Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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