so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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