dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
