operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I got inside last night via doggy door
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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