Already got asked if we're dating
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize