How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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