I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
