If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
