No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
