is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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