Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
