I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
