belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
