We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
