we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
