that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
