I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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