I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
