You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
