Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
