This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
