Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
