Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
