Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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